Did Micah turn blue because he was upset with rage or because he was choking on a peanut M&M? Either way, the incident scared (and scarred) dad.
On Wednesday, I was frantic while talking on my cell phone to Jill. I had just had the mother of all scares with Micah, when he threw a fit over an M&M and began to appear to be not breathing.
Since Halloween, Micah had developed an addiction for sugary snacks, taking in and wholly ingesting Tootsie Rolls, Dots, Kit Kat–one of his favorites–and, of course, M&Ms. But also since Halloween, dad and mom get really upset because he likes keep the candy in his hands for long periods of time. And believe me that M&Ms do, in fact, melt in your hands, leaving an prominent blue dye, which will get on clothes and cupboard doors.
So on that fateful night, I pulled out some peanut M&Ms–to satisfy my own craving, but Micah was soon at my feet (with Cid) begging for some.
Instead of letting him carry it around, I put it directly into his mouth. He seems to chew it pretty good before asking for another. I decide that I will give him two of the amount that was in the fun-sized bag of M&Ms. I stick the next one, again, directly into his mouth. But he actually spat it out into his hand. As I mentioned before, he likes to hold it in his hand for a certain period of time.
I took it and put it back into his mouth. He cried a little, spat it onto the floor and bent over to pick it up. At which point, I took it and threw it away. I look directly at Micah and extolled him on the virtues of not getting candy all over oneself.
Now, Micah has had, in the past, seemed to stop breathing a few times when he’s thrown a fit. But, when he became hysterical, upon seeing the M&M thrown away, I really couldn’t tell if he was actually choking, or just throwing a fit. Or, what seemed to be the case, he started throwing a fit and got a peanut lodged in his throat–although I doubted it afterwards.
At first, I thought it was him throwing a fit, but then I saw bits of candy in his mouth. Then it seemed like he was choking. I picked him up. But he transformed into something that more resembled a sack full of potatoes than my son. I was panicked, he wasn’t breathing in any case. I could not find my cell phone.
A million thoughts gushed through my mind, preventing me from thinking coherently. I looked all over the place, for where I could have placed my cell phone. I grabbed my work bag, and threw it on the ground when I didn’t find it. I thought about running outside to see if it was in the car. But, I just couldn’t leave Micah.
I thought, How long has it been since his last breath? Twenty seconds? Thirty? I couldn’t be sure. Desperately, held him up by his chest and pounded his back. I yelled, a command for Micah to breath. I hear a few gasps release, a few precious cries from Micah. I think that maybe he is breathing again. But that’s all I got out of him. He seemed to have stopped breathing again.
I hold him up, readying him for another round of blows to the back. He starts crying before I get the chance to hit him again. It’s the best thing I’ve ever heard. I hold him closer than I ever have. While he’s crying (again, the M&M or choking?), I feel like crying too.
I phoned Jill after a bitter session of phone-hunting and self-chastisement.
“We are getting a land-line,” is the first thing I said to Jill.
